2019 has been a breakthrough year for my personal growth. Some of the things I’m most proud of include reducing my material possessions to the bare essentials, doubling the time I spend with my family, tripling the number of books I read as well as increasing my overall comprehension of them, increasing the time I spend gardening for pleasure, and so much more. Enduring 3 new home environments and assuming the role of 4 entirely new positions with my work has forced me outside my comfort zone and onto the path I am on now.
I have put to test the internal power of choice and intention.
Yes, I may come off as idealistic, intense, and emotional.. but that is entirely because I am. In following my own unique path, I find myself more comfortable expressing compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and gratitude, which has helped to invite so much joy and wealth into my life.
The Arrogant and Selfish Mind
The year went by not without setbacks or negativity. For many years I have struggled with feeling inadequate, arrogant, even selfish for pursuing the path of fulfilling my vision.
Over time, I have realized that the inadequacy I felt for so long broke down to being involved with relationships that no longer served me. It’s difficult to separate yourself from these situations with so many emotions tied to history, but great relationships are never built on an imbalanced board.
Arrogance is a difficult thing for me to come to terms with. On one hand, I am truly proud of everything I’ve accomplished this year. I’ve accomplished more in my career, social life, creative life, and home life in the past 6 months than I have ever done before or ever thought possible. On the other hand, I understand that many others have probably just finished going through the WORST imaginable 6 months of their lives and in the wake of my celebration I may seriously damage other people’s perception of me, entirely opposite of my greater goal.
This is not my intention, nor is it my choice. I can only be mindful of these situations and choose what I say, and share, wisely. That said, I cannot let false realities affect that of my own. I am most likely not who you think I am.
I thrive in situations where I can easily and consistently give, without being taken advantage of or used.Stuart Stretch
Feelings of selfishness have plagued me due to the fact that I’m finally making decisions that benefit myself primarily while I have consciously chosen not to give my time or energy to people and things that consistently draw from my resources without ever giving themselves. Some people have an easy time doing this but it’s proven to be one of the biggest challenges I’ve been faced with. I was born a natural giver and derive much of my self worth from the positive effect I have on people’s lives.
I thrive in situations where I can easily and consistently give, without being taken advantage of or used. Sometimes the veil of positivity I create in my life overshadows the seemingly obvious negative situations I put myself into. Others have told me it’s obvious and that I should immediately change who I am and how I behave. This is, of course, a very difficult thing for me to simply resolve but I’ve learned to practice realism when faced with extreme idealistic circumstances.
What Excites Me About The New Year
There are technologies brewing right now that most of mankind is either oblivious to or simply doesn’t understand yet. These technologies will fundamentally change the way the world works, from politics to policing, from transportation to the way we eat. The technological breakthroughs of Big Data Networks authenticated on a Blockchain system paired with a new Global Digital Currency may very well shift the world from the separated mess it is now to the globally connected and forward-thinking world it needs to become to sustain all generations to come.
The new decade will yield many new challenges and experiences for humanity and I am immensely grateful to play a role in helping make sense of it all.
Are you a Forward Thinker?